Thursday, June 4, 2009

Teen Girls and Sex

Last weekend I spoke at a teen girls conference on sex. More specifically, I talked with them about how sex creates a bond, physically, emotionally, spiritually and even chemically. And this bond outside marriage can wound us, and impact our ability to bond in future relationships, even marriage.
But unlike other teen audiences, with this one, I also talked about sexual abuse, and forced sex as in rape. In my experience leading women through sexual healing, I've discovered that for many women, their first exposure to sex begins with someone molesting them, forcing them to have sex, or exposing them to sexually explicit material or behavior.
In addition to opening their sexual pathway early, it can cause great damage, wounding and shame. Most young girls don't tell anyone of their experiences because of the shame, thereby allowing the abuse to continue. And then when these young girls reach puberty, the abuse can often cause them to become sexually promiscuous.
After I spoke, I offered the girl's an opportunity to speak confidentially with me. And so they came, several girls, telling me of their experiences with abuse in their past. And their current sexual choices. My heart broke to hear their painful stories. But I was also excited for them. Bringing their secrets into the open, and healing from past wounds can protect them from re-wounding themselves sexually in the future. It can also save them from living decades haunted by shame and pain.
Although we need to address teen sexual behavior, we need to be aware that if teens are having sex early--12 or 13 years of age, they may have been exposed to sex earlier in their life that contributed to this behavior.
But there's hope. God can heal anything. I've already watched Him do it with countless women who've been wounded by sex in their pasts. And I know He'll do it for these girls too.

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