What's God's Love Language?

Gary Chapman has changed all our lives with his book on love languages. He says there are five love languages and we all have at least two that make us feel love. They are physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time and gifts. Recently our young married small group examined our own love languages and how we utilized them in our marriages.
Often, Chapman says, we give love in how we like to receive love. If gifts is our love language, than we usually like to give gifts. However, if the person we're trying to love on doesn't interpret gifts as being loved, but would rather have quality time, than even though we've done our best to show them love, they may not be able to receive our love.
It made me think about God. Does God have a love language? Is there something that makes God feel loved? It came out of a conversation I was having with God one day. I wanted Him to know that I really, really loved Him. But I know that sometimes words are easy to say. We can say, I love you all day long, but unless we're doing things that show our love, the words can be meaningless. At least that's what I Corinthians 13 says. Love here is depicted in actions..."love is kind, love is patient, love does not envy, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs..." I don't hear any "I love you's" in this passage, at least not with words.
As I asked God this day, "How can I show you I love you?", Gary Chapman's love languages came to mind, and immediately I knew what God's love language was. Do you know what it is? Is it attending church? Serving in lots of ministries? Is it spending time in prayer and bible reading? What about abstaining from all the bad sins...like alcohol, movies and playing cards? (anyone raised Baptist:)? Or does something else come to mind for you?

To answer the question, let's look at what Jesus said about what makes Him feel loved. In John 14:15 Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey what I command."

Obedience? That's God's love language? Yes, obedience. Although attending church, bible study, and eliminating sin from our lives is all part of a healthy Christian walk, and may even be something God is asking you to do...Jesus didn't quote any of these as a sign that we love Him. What He said is, "I feel loved when you obey what I say."

You see we can sit in church every week, hearing God's message to us, and then just ignore it, and not obey it. We can read our bibles every day and pray, and hear God's message to us loud and clear, and still blow it off. And while these things are wonderful and we should do them, none of them communicate love to God. His love language is obedience.

So what does it mean to obey? Sometimes that can feel overwhelming. I talked with someone who felt if she didn't obey everything God said in the bible, she was sinning. I replied, "You can only obey what you know, what God has asked you to obey." In other words, obey what God is asking you today...don't worry about all the things you don't know you're not doing...just start with the one thing He's asking you today.

God is so kind and gentle and gracious towards us. I've discovered that He doesn't bombard me with dozens of requests at once of things to obey...it's usually one thing at a time. Obeying God may seem difficult, but all it takes is staying close to Him so you recognize His voice when He asks you to do something, and then saying "Yes, God I'll do that." You may not want to do it, or even know how to do it, but that's okay. Because God will give you the desire to obey, and even the step by step process in how to do it. Your starting point is just saying, "Yes."

John 3:16 says that God showed His love towards us by sending us His Son as a Redeemer and Savior. Thankfully God doesn't ask the same level of sacrifice from us...only that we'll obey what He asks us to do. Do you want to show God you love Him? How can you make God feel loved today?

"If you love me," He says, "You'll obey what I command."

It's that simple.

10 Yr. Old Model's Grown Up Look--cute or sexy?

http://abcnews.go.com/m/story?id=14221160

Does she look 10 to you? I saw little girls like this in Cambodia. They would come all dressed up, with makeup and jewelry to the kid's club. They were petite, innocent, yet looked older than their years. The parents were preparing to sell them for sex, and this was how they'd dress them up to entice men to want to buy them.

Child pornography has fueled the market for little girls to be dressed as sex objects--and the sexualization of our girls. Just look at the clothing line marketed to little girls today. With a 3 yr. old granddaughter, I've seen what's out there, and its alarming. And yet, in the name of fashion and art, it all appears innocent and acceptable? Or not.

All I know is that pornography is progressive. It leads to increasingly more perverse and hardcore porn, including the most evil--child porn. Adults having sex with children, children having sex together. And studies show that people who view pornography are more likely to act out sexually, use prostitutes, buy children for sex, traffic children for sex, and abuse children. You can rationalize it all you want, but the truth is child porn is fueling child sexual abuse, and the sexualization of our children. And what we see here is a result of that.

In my opinion, this ten year old isn't a model, she's a victim.

Barbara

Is Casual Sex Worth It?

I write about sex. More specifically how causal sex is hurting our generation. How do I know? Because it hurt me. But even more, now that I speak and write and lead people through sexual healing, I've discovered that it hasn't just hurt me...but all of us. I help people find healing from their past sexual wounds, whether from abuse, trauma or their own choices, as in casual sex.

I found the discussion in this CNN article, "Is Sex Worth It?" very interesting. And I'd love to hear what you think? Has casual sex hurt you? If you had casual sex, do you regret it? Was it worth it? What would you advise a young person now?

You can click on the link Is Casual Sex Worth It? to read the article.

Blessings, Barb

TO CAMBODIA WITH LOVE

This is the email we received from Sophy, assistant to the Director of AIM after we left for the airport. This is a sample of the amazing, humble Christians working hard in Cambodia for God, but also how our service blessed them.

Dear Bayside Team;

It has been a wonderful blessing to be able to serve God with you. For the past two weeks, I have seen your eagerness to serve, to love and to be with us. It is so true that each of you was investing something else apart from material, time and your context back home. Each of you was a part of our Cambodian Heaven Community. By now, each of us may have already realized that you have stolen our heart, and your departure has left us a vision and a hope to make that heaven realm become even more realistic and sustainable.

Culturally, we have been raised with intimidations to help others, to use our ability for the benefit of others, to fix what have been broken and to heal the wounds and sicknesses we have put on ourselves. While individualism and the pursuit for merely worldly comfort is binding us, your team presence has helped us to see how we can untie it. The joy of being together as a community is what we lack or do not have and your presence let us tasted that, and it was good!

Some significant things I have heard, which we are proud of and appreciate include:

Kid’s Club ministry, “the team has been very patient in working with the children; they loved each kids equally; we had a great team work with them”

Computer Ministry, “the computer lessons were very clear and we were given full attention”

The Lord’s Gym, “each man and boy who came to the Lord’s gym felt loved and the joy of learning and the excitement in the competitions have been overwhelming”

The music ministry, “we were given full attention; the trainer was very patient with us; and, we have learned a lot”

The community, “the smiles and a sense that we actually have people that want to care for us”

On behalf of AIM, I would like to say, “Or Kun (thank you)” to each of you for providing a space for us to serve together with you and to show my people how much Jesus loves and wants for Svay Park community. I believe we have also stolen your heart too, and hopefully we will see you all again. We will remember you!

Abundant Blessings,

Servant Sophy & Rahab’s House

Cambodia Day Nine and Ten!

We've had a couple of very busy days here in Phnom Penh which is why I haven't had a chance to post an update. I've been enjoying the opportunity to teach trauma to the teachers in Svay Pak and the staff at the Hard Places Boy's home. Its been amazing to see God touch the hearts of the staff. As I teach them about trauma so they can help their students, God is using what I'm teaching to help them heal from their own trauma.

As a team we're starting to feel better from all our stomach issues as we adjust to the food here. We can't believe we just have two more days here in Cambodia. Monday we had dinner with Moses and Samantha, the original founders of AIM. Moses runs the church planting arm of AIM, and to date has planted over 1000 churches. Yes, you read correctly, 1000! He is the Billy Graham of Cambodia, and a modern Moses, leading his people to the Lord and the promised land. Before the Pol Pot regime in the 70s, Moses was high up in the military and government. He barely escaped with his life as the military and government people were first on Pol Pot's hit list. He came to America and was educated and then returned to Cambodia just 8 years ago and in that time has planted these 1000 churches.

Because of his contacts in government, Moses invited the Secretary of State, the Minister of Parliament, and the LT. Governor Adviser to the Ministry of the Interior to dinner with us. The Secretary of State expressed his appreciation to us for our love of the Cambodia children and our continued efforts to assist in helping rescue girls from the sex slave trade.

Thankyou for your prayers. This week we've had so much opportunity to bless the families at the Brick Factories with mosquito nets, shoes, school uniforms and school supplies, as well as toothbrushes and toothpaste. Pray that these families will begin to trust Pastor Chantha and want to come to church to hear more about Jesus.

love and blessings,
Barb

Cambodia Day Eight

Today is Sunday July 3rd. We were up early and heading out to Svay Pak for church by 7am. This week three of us shared a short message with the people, and AJ had his music students play a song while we sang with them. It was a great service. All three of us talked about how we were a big family. And regardless of our address, or where in the world we lived, if we knew Jesus we were all part of the same family.

After church, we ordered in pizza, hamburgers and cokes for approximately 75 of us. The Cambodian staff, our team, and a team from Michigan here working at the Hard Places boy's home. The Cambodian's loved the pizza and hamburgers, although for us, it didn't taste quite like home. Our little lunch turned into a huge party with singing, games and dancing. It was an amazing celebration of the fun, unity and spirit we have in Christ together.

Its been a busy week followed by two full days of weekend. We're up early again and back to Svay Pak to work tomorrow. We're tired, and many are not feeling 100%. Please pray for renewed energy and passion this week, our last 5 days in Cambodia.

The triad arrived last night and it was great to see them finally here. For those who don't know, the triad is two girls and a guy from Bayside who are moving to Cambodia to work with Agape for a year. One girl, Jayme is Roma's (my co-leader) daughter. The two girls, Jayme and Kaitlin are here for the second time, but this is Isaac's first time to Cambodia. They all have an adjustment to make, so please keep them in your prayers. We'll have them with us this week in Svay Pak.

Well, its been a long day and I'm ready to get some rest. God's blessings to you, and thank you for your continued prayers.

Barb

Cambodia Day Seven

Its Saturday night here and we're just getting home from a busy day. Today we went to the Agape Restoration Center and put on a Fourth of July party for the 60 girls who've been rescued from sex-trafficking. 60 girls who've experienced the horror and evil of sex-trafficking, but are in the process of being transformed by the love and healing of Jesus. It never ceases to amaze me that these bright, smiley, joyful girls have been through so much. Its a testimony of what love can do, especially the love of Jesus.

It was a day of music, dancing, pizza, games, crafts, cake and gifts. The girls sang, danced, laughed...but most importantly, felt treasured, loved and beautiful as we lavished on them.

Then we were lavished on at Bloom Cafe...a professional bakery where the girls from Agape learn the skills and creativity of professional cake decorating. The girls have made cakes for the highest officials in the government, including the King and the Prime Minister's daughter.

Our next visit of the day took us to Hard Places Boy's Home where we toured this new facility that will be a center of hope, healing and freedom for sexually exploited boys. We learned today that the little boys who scour the streets looking for customers to sell their basket of books to, have to meet a quota every day for their parents or pimps. If they don't make the quota, they are required to sell themselves for sex through the night. That heartbreaking truth compelled me to over-pay for a bracelet from one of these lads--a small, young one, in hopes that for this one, his quota would be met, at least for tonight.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and we will leave for the 3 hour church service at the early hour of 7pm to arrive by the 7:30 start time. We'll be sharing in the service and singing for them. Afterwards we're putting on another lunch party for the staff at Rahab's House. Along with our team and the team from Hard Places, and Rahab's staff, we will be sharing lunch with 75 of our Cambodian and American brothers and sisters. Pizza, hamburgers and coke is on the menu...which the Cambodian's are very excited about. One of the girls at Rahab's house told me that she'd only had pizza one time in her life, and she's 28 years old.

Thankyou for your prayers. We have several sick with stomach issues due to the different food here. Please pray for strength and health as we prepare to start another busy week at Rahab's house.

Thank you...God's blessings on all of you at home!

barb